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Smoke ‘em!

Author: Chic, March 21, 2010 March 21, 2010

If you’re a regular blog reader (and if you’re not, why not?) you’ll remember that Chris bought us all monster cigars back from his holiday to Lanzarote. These weren’t your regular ‘hamlet’ style cigars, but long, fat proper gangster cigars! So on friday afternoon we decided to have a mass smoke up and see how cool these things were.

Taking them out of the wooden box and opening the cellophane wrapper should have been a clue – it was like opening a stick of seaside rock, noisy and brittle. Then we noticed the white bits peaking out from the ends? Looked like paper? Nah, these are cigars right? Let’s go and light up…

Mmm... we're cool we are!

So out we go (no smoking in the studio of course), lighters at the ready… We drag hard ‘cos they’re so bloody long and take ages to get going (a bit like Ben’s mum!) and… coouugghh!, sppllutteerrrr, coouugghh! my god, they’re rough! I’m thinking it must be me being a wimp as I quit smoking years ago and only have the odd cigar on special occasions, but no, Ben and Iva are joining in too, both coughing, spitting bits of ‘baccy out and pissing themselves laughing. “They’re quite smooth” commented Iva between wheezes!

smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke em!

As we smoke on it becomes obvious these aren’t proper cigars at all – mine has started to fall to pieces, Ben has lit his half way down and it’s caught fire! Then I notice –  the paper we spotted earlier was now properly showing – the thin outer leaf peeling away to reveal… yes it’s bloody newspaper underneath! Mine is a Daily Mail from April 2009! So we rip them open and sure enough all they are is a thin outer cigar leaf, a sheet of newspaper and rough old baccy! We’ve been properly stitched up!

extra, extra, read all about it...

But despite this (and all the coughing, wheezing etc) we had a right laugh, brightening up our friday afternoon, and have forgiven Chris… for now anyway…!

Ben's not gay - honest!

Now then, now then, how's about... Iva does his best Jimmy Saville impression!

Err, boys, how do you do this again...?

Quality stuff from Lanzarote! Cheers Chris!!

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