‘Evening lads of the village’

A wierd expression I know, but one me and my old mate Mark were greeted with by the landlord of the Greyhound one night years ago… sorry I digress…

Village life is a beautiful thing. Old fashioned, quant, bordering on the senile and demented! But so much better than living in some nondescript city where no-one talks to each other and everyone treats their neighbour with manic suspicion.

Anyway, the last May Bank Holiday in the Sinner Village, we had our annual May Fayre. The ladies of the WI go baking mad, filling their stall with awesome cakes, buns and biscuits. There’s plants for sale, ropey ceramics, grubby car boot tat, bouncy castles and more. The very modern lady vicar turns out to pour tea in the refreshment tent, there’s tombolas, fishing for ducks, maypole dancing, a May Queen, the absolute lot! And along with this they have competitions for everything from flower arranging to poetry to wine making. One of the categories is for painting – so I thought ‘Why Not?’ I grabbed a few off the studio walls, paid a quid an entry and left the lady taking the entries saying ‘ooh aren’t they all different!’

Well I like to be diverse you see and paint all kinds of stuff – I entered an artists pallette with a bulldog on it, a budha, a heart with wings, a flaming skull in blue and a Bob Ross inspired mountain landscape. (You’ve gotta love a bit of Bob Ross!)

So me, Mrs Sinner and our little Sinnerettes toddle off to the May Fayre and have a jolly old time. Eating cake, hooking ducks, trying to win a coconut (poor little Sinner boy is a lousy shot) and trying to shelter when the rain pours down as it usually does on a Bank Holiday! Then Mrs Sinner checks out the competition gallery and guess what… I’d only got 2nd for the blue flaming skull and 3rd for the mountain landscape! I was pretty chuffed and not too bothered that I’d been beaten by a pretty average windmill scene!

Picking up the rosettes (yes rosettes, I told you this was village life!) from the visiting vicar, he asked me which painting had got the 2nd place and didn’t bat an eyelid when I told him it was a blue flaming skull!

So there you go – tattooists are artists too

Rock ‘n’ Roll!

2nd Place for the Flaming blue skull

3rd Place for the mountain landscape

All winter I’ve been looking in the back garden at this silver shape, with black hoops peeking out at the bottom. Most of the time I forget it’s even there. Every day I get up and go to work in a nice, warm, heated seated box, listening to comfortable (old school) rock, trying to avoid the potholes left from the snow and every now and then think, it’d be nice to get my bike out when the weather gets better…

Well yesterday the sun came out, for probably the first time this year and I approached the silver shape with trepidation – knowing that the battery charger and extension lead would need to be found before I could go anywhere. Dragging the silver cover off the bike revealed my utterly dejected 1200 Bandit, the tank and seat covered in paw prints and fur where the cat had been taking shelter under the cover together with some nicely progressing rust spots and green mildew – awesome!

Now came the moment I’d been dreading – would it start? The first thumb on the starter let me know that the battery had survived the winter well and had life! Then on the third try it fired up! Well three cylinders is better than none right? So I left it running for a while until it was nice and warm and (almost) firing on all four then went in search of the bucket…

So (and this is a rare thing) I got the sponge and bucket out and washed it down – hurriedly I might add, as the sun could disappear at any given moment – this is England after all. The Bandit scrubbed up pretty well considering it’s total neglect (I think I last rode it in October ’09?)

Quickly getting my helmet and stuff on and out onto the road I figured I’d better check the tyres (last time I did this I had about 18psi in the back tyre and wondered why cornering was getting wierd!) This requires the skills of a Krypton Factor contestant, with the garage air lines designed for cars and not for bikes – trying to manipulate the nozzle onto the valve is frustrating to say the least! Much swearing and scraped knuckles later, the tyres are good and full of air and the street is now fun.

When I get on the bike after a bit of a layoff I always mentally tell myself to take it easy, then the feel and excitement of riding very quickly takes over and OH YEAH! up comes the front wheel and the fun begins!

And what fun it is! The whole point of this blog was to expound the virtues of how much fun motorbike riding is – it’ll blow away your blues, it’ll put a hug grin on your face, it’ll make you feel so alive you can’t explain it! If you’ve never done it – give it a go – you’ll be amazed.

Me, I just love wheelies – it’s impossible to ride without having to get the front wheel up at any given opportunity – yes I know it’s illegal and naughty – (it takes skill and control you know) – but I’ve been doing it forever and I ain’t stopping now!

Young Chic - Reigate School of Art - circ 1978(ish)

Young Chic - Reigate School of Art - circa 1978(ish) - Photos by good mate Del Ongley

Useful saying of the week: Monkey Butter!

This week was mouse boy Chris’s birthday – he mumbled something about going to London and going up the eye? We presume he meant the London Eye! Happy Birthday Chris!

What is it with computers? They have to be the most frustrating cause of stress on the planet (well, after your missus obviously!) Seems like not a day goes by without some dilemma – this week it’s the printer and scanner. Apparently it doesn’t exist! Despite having been connected and functioning fine it suddenly goes on holiday – so another few hours of dicking around trying to sort that out really makes the day go well!

Ben’s DIY corner

We had to laugh – Ben trying to file his back spring slot… goes something like: rasp, rasp, ouch, rasp rasp, ouch ouch, rasp, rasp oh shit ouch! Oh the fun we have…

… and don’t get me started on snot! Snot just keeps pouring out – why?