As a tattoo artist I get really pissed off with people who come in when we open (at 11am), give me that ‘You’re lucky, I start work at 4 in the morning’ look, and say ‘must be nice to start work this late! Half day is it?…’ Wankers! What they and all you others who think we just live a rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle (thanks LA Ink!), don’t realise is all the work we do before we open and after we shut.

A normal day starts with taking the kids to school for 8.15 (early enough and rock ‘n’ roll enough for you?), coming home and getting breakfast. Then aim  to get to the shop by 9am-(ish). On goes the computer to answer all the emails, along with a double shot cappuccino. This is always hard work – ‘how much is a tattoo?’ being the benchmark! This can take up to an hour, sorting designs, quotes, appointments etc etc, binning the Viagra ads (got plenty at the moment ta).  Then it’s checking the diary for the day ahead, making sure the designs are ready for each customer, calling customers who’s designs I’ve got drawn up,  and checking that we have a few moments sometime during the day to eat lunch (quite rare most days). Then it’s inspecting the work stations for supplies, cleanliness etc, and another double shot cappuccino.

Once the doors are open at 11am, it’s heads down, non-stop tattooing all day, interspersed with giving quotes for tattoos, taking designs, answering the phone, answering customers questions ‘how much is a tattoo?’ - told you it’s the benchmark, ‘where’s the toilet?’ (a close second) and so on. At 6pm we stop (apart from Ben, who’s usually running late). Then it’s cleaning… everywhere. Vacuuming, mopping, bin emptying, etc etc, then cashing up, which usually involves chasing the guys who’ve inevitably forgotten something they’ve done, ‘cos it doesn’t add up.

If I’m lucky I can be home for 7pm, in time to have dinner with Mrs Sinner and the kids, maybe give them a bath (not Mrs Sinner, she can usually manage herself) read them a story or two and put them to bed (see it’s SO rock ‘n’ roll!).

Then it’s back to the computer, checking the days emails, editing and uploading photos for the website and writing this blog. Hopefully this won’t take long – then it’s out with the pencils and onto drawing up tattoo designs for customers – and believe me we have loads and loads of them to do. So if you’ve left us a design to draw up, my apologies… we’ll get it done as soon as we can! Normally I can’t draw past about midnight – my eyes start to hurt bad and I begin to dribble and nod off onto my art pad! Hopefully by then I’ve got a couple of drawings done for future tattoos.

At last it’s off to bed… then the alarm goes off… and it’s back to groundhog day again…

So, there you have it. Not rock ‘n’ roll. Not 9 till 5. Not fucking easy OK!

But after all is said and done, it’s brilliant and I wouldn’t swap it for anything.

Keep inking all you lovely Sinners!

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY WANNABEE’S?

Seems like every man, woman and his dog wants to be a tattoo artist at the moment.

Every fucking day I get emails and phone calls from these wannabees. Hell, they even turn up in person, telling me about how ‘they bought a ‘gun’ off ebay and done tattoooos on me mates’

One, don’t call it a fucking gun tosser! – guns kill people, tattoo machines however, don’t.

Two, don’t come in here asking for a job telling me this shit, I’m not fucking interested ok.

In the trade we call these scum scratchers – and believe me they’re fucking multiplying! We reckon for every honest, hard working,  registered, and insured tattoo studio in your town, there’s around twenty to thirty scratchers causing untold harm and misery from their bedrooms, kitchens and sheds.

This is not an exageration – we see the result of these cunts every day – fixing and covering up some of the most crap tattoos you’ve ever seen. More worrying are the potential health problems these arseholes cause every day – from small infections, hepatitis to possible HIV – they are a timebomb waiting to go off.

And when something bad happens, guess who the authorities will close down? Yes US, the registered studios.

Think about it… as a registered studio we have to pay an authorised waste company to dispose of our clinical waste correctly, needles, bloody tissue etc. – the scratcher doesn’t, he just lobs it in the bin.

We have to make sure everything is single use or sterilized to hospital standard – the scratcher doesn’t. If he can’t be arsed to change needles or colours then you know what could happen…

We have to be inspected by the Environmental Health Officer and show application of best practice. The scratcher doesn’t.

We take every precaution against tattooing minors, the scratcher doesn’t. (My next door neighbours nephew had to go and have a full Hep and HIV check after getting tattooed in a squat on his neck for a tenner at the age of 14!)

We pay rent, rates, council tax etc, etc, etc. The scratcher doesn’t.

Usually they can’t draw for shit let alone tattoo – if you want to do something for your town, find out who they are and report them to your local Environmental Health Officer

So to all you ‘wannabees’ - have a think. Do you REALLY want to tattoo for a living? Are you prepared to sacrifice the time and effort required to make it in this business? Can you sleep at night knowing you’ve done the best work you can? My advice to you is always the same – if you really want to succeed you will. But don’t expect any help.

And for the record we always report scratchers to the EHO’s. That way at least we may help to rid the world of another crap wannabee.

For more information on scratchers and how to stamp them out call the Tattoo and Piercing Industry Union (TPI) on 07518629386. The TPI is the industry authority and recognised by Environmental Health Officers nationwide.

Got tickets to go see Steel Panther from Mr & Mrs V for christmas (cheers guys!), stuck ‘em on the magnetic board of reminders and stuff in the kitchen and forgot about them! Suddenly March is here and the date has arrived. Now I haven’t been to a ‘gig’ for years, so really wasn’t too bothered, had tons of stuff going on that I needed to do and almost blew it out. Thank god I didn’t! Me and Mrs Sinner set off to Brixton in search of the Academy and coming out of the tube station it was simple to follow all the geezers, old and young, wearing long blonde wigs, mirror shades and (shock horror!) spandex! Honestly I’ve never seen anything like it, it was absolutely hilarious! What was even more hilarious for us, was the amount of fake, stick on, and drawn on tattoos they were sporting! Tragic doesn’t even come close… Listen boys, it’s about time you bit the bullet and got some proper ink.

So into the venue and the usual scrum for the bar, all quite civilized and orderly, until a wig wearing, spandex clad old twat started getting lairy because he got a bit bumped about! Nearly the funniest thing ever! Listen mate, you can’t act the fuckin’ hard man wearing that get up. No-ones going to be intimidated or impressed if you look like a refugee from Twisted Sister! So everyone just laughed and called him a nob! More than he deserved quite frankly.

Into the auditorium and on they come… Steel Panther. Loud, american, mental! If you’ve never heard them, get a copy of the album, buy it, download it, steal it, whatever… just have a listen. Think Van Halen, Whitesnake, Bon Jovi and every 1980′s hair metal band, every over used riff, with the most hilarious, filthy, fantastic lyrics you’ve ever heard. Not only do they not take themselves overly seriously (like most rock cocks) they play so tight it’s ridiculous. Probably the most entertaining thing I’ve been to since… well for ages really. Totally brilliant!

They’re playing the Download festival so if you get the chance go see ‘em – and remember… DEATH TO ALL BUT METAL!!

Last October Seven Sins sponsored the Queensbury Fight Night, History in the Making over in East Grinstead, (it’s ok, I have a visa and my jabs are up to date) because our good mate and tattooed freak, Nick Evans was making his boxing debut. It was a fantastic night and we vowed to be at the next one.

And last night we were back for the rematch – Unfinished Business. This time in a posher venue, the Effingham Park hotel, complete with dry ice, lasers and plush carpet!  Nick was on the card once again, having used his winter training to improve his ring skills. This time his trainer Mark slapped him about a bit beforehand, getting him fired up and angry. He came out fast but got tagged a couple of times early on. Then he settled down and boxed well, getting through each round intact. Despite losing the bout, Nick fought brilliantly, showing massive improvement from his last fight and we all shouted ourselves hoarse (again!)

All of the matches were awesome – proper geezers slugging it out and hats off to the lot of them! To get in the ring, in front of a massive crowd takes big balls. Well done Nick!

Death to all Chavs!

I’m thinking of starting a Facebook site called I fuckin’ hate chavs!

What is it with these tracksuit wearing twats? Why do they think they can act like dicks and get away with it? Honestly I’ve never encountered a lower life form, and believe me I’ve met a few (including the microgerms that lurk up inside the toilet rim!).

So if you wake up in the morning and feel the urge to pull on three striped matching Adidas (but have never been near a gym in your life) then here’s a message… Grow up, change your attitude, get some proper clothes, see if you can locate the other missing brain cell and join the real world!